140 characters.

A smattering of goodbyes here and there...

I still feel lost some days and wonder what my life is about.

Heaven has been becoming more and more of a reality.

Shared a C-size frolick with my brother, oreo, strawberries and all.

Tomorrow Wed Wed leaves.
I hope I save enough money to travel to Beijing next year.

I want to paint something in acrylic on a canvas soon.

I put God on the backseat again tonight.
Wish I'd stop doing this.

Love can be...agonizing at times, but the only other options are far too unthinkable.

Cultural and Contextual Class on 20 August 2010.

Quinquagenarian refers to a fifty year old man

The things we learn.

Fear of the Unknown

So I gave some a good laugh over my candy bar episode, but really, I think it drives a deeper point here.

Firstly, it's the fear of the unknown or unfamiliar.
Secondly it's the overwhelming proportion of it going beyond my capacity to handle the situation that causes panic.
The first alone is insufficient cause; only when I feel as though I've lost a handle on the situation does the panic start to surge in, and with it comes a natural increase in stress levels.

Some of you may be shaking your head - whoever thought one could go bonkers over a new macbook (pro) and the candy bar application (add an overwhelming number of keyboard shortcuts to that list - did I mention that the mac being too smart can seriously impair one's health)?
But I guess when you couple that with the new study environment as well as this whole design culture thing that I need to sink my fingers into it can really, REALLY throw one off balance.

So the thing to be done now is to rationalize away some of the fear, give myself some time to adjust, forget about wanting to master the macbook pro and settle with decent efficiency, and set all my icons back to default and try the candy bar thing another time.

Admitting one's arrogance can actually be rather humbling.
Firstly, I gotta admit that I pride myself on being decently savvy with technology (the limited spectrum that I choose to come into contact with - did I mention I'm anti-tech?) and do not like to think I am not utilizing something sufficiently. So maybe I felt like a semi-pro with laptops, thus getting thrown into the world of macs can be super unnerving because the mac is too smart to be mastered the way I can master your average computer.
The bottom-line is finding out that you're not that fab at something you think you're kinda fab at can either sink one into a depressive state, or you can rise to the challenge and learn some humbling lessons along the way.

I've always been able to figure things out on my own when it comes to computers. Don't like having to consult people on things I think I am supposed to be able to figure out on my own.

Wow. I can actually write an essay on this one.
Bemusement aside, guess I just want to assimilate this lesson (and feelings of being crippled) as part of life's learning experiences and move on.
I know I will, with a little time.

And if you see me stressed up about my macbook (pro) and school, just give a sympathetic nod and try not to make me feel lousier about myself, thanks.

Posted on my new macbook pro.

My Life in Checklists

What do you tell two young minds who are feeling the hopelessness of the world?
In trying to make sense of the world we live in, we will continually hit roadblocks unless and until God is your reference point. Colossians 1:16.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Apply for new passport.
Check.
Collect new passport.
Pending.
Change learning portal and lasalle email account password.
Check.
Buy paper for next studio class.
Check.
Figure out how to bold text using keyboard shortcut on mac.
Check.
Upload mobile photos to facebook and tag.
Pending.
Re-arrange book shelf.
Check.
Transfer files to mac.
Check.
Transfer favourite sites to mac.
In progress.
Reply emails.
In progress.
Open new bank account.
Pending.

My life in a checklist.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Needing to adjust to too many things and having a sudden influx of unexpected experiences can really derail one from her peace. Hope normality is restored soon. Don't fancy over-exposing my nerves to stimulation.

In-between moments where you're neither here nor there

The lack of posts probably says something about my life as much as my posts do.

Tomorrow I go back to school.
It's been one looooonng break :)
I'm happy to be going back.

Sometimes all you need is a little courage to walk on.



I hope to be doing this in a very short while.

*disclaimer: I don't know how the post title turned out to be so long, but it started out with two words, really, and the rest kinda filled themselves in. I'm not really 'neither here nor there'. As a matter of fact, I am living out the moment and enjoying it very much, and I also happen to know where I am going, whether in the short term sense or in the long term sense.

C. S. Lewis says the present moment is the point where time touches eternity.
I think he is absolutely brilliant.