Girlfriends

What will I do without them.

Maria...
She's the one who embraces me when my soul is all bruised and battered. The princess with an inner core stronger than she would appear to possess, yet tender enough to understand the needs of a sensitive soul. Loyally fierce. In her arms I find warm hugs no one else can give, the kind lovingly given, dearly needed and greatly appreciated.

Shwing...
With our feet in the pool, with our hair flying in the face of the wind on the swings, we sing songs of worship to our God. With light-hearted giggles, we fall all over laughing about the sweet things God reveals. Timid and shy maybe, but you don't know her until you've watched her come alive in the presence of girls. She is God's gentle reminder to me that sensitive spirits are never alone.

Joylynn...
Steady as the river winding between the lush greens, a joyful sound, flowing with waters of life. Trustworthy, faithful and always there. The obvious distance does nothing to lessen her intangible presence. Through joy and through tears, we were there, upholding one another, seeking God together. Her friendship made possible the two tumultuous years.

Yan Hui...
Like a Springtime bud blossoming under rays of warm sunlight, she makes me come alive. Like a streak of lightning, she unknowingly surprises with occasional revelations. With her, words flow freely and there are no inhibitions. She enters the room and suddenly, the world is filled with colours again.

Joanne...
Strong leader, faithful counselor, constant guidance, a source of wisdom. She lends strength in my moments of weaknesses, reassures with her standing in my life, directs me in my states of confusion, shows love even when her own strength fails.

Girlfriends.
Each one of them precious, each one of them God sent.
Bonds and ties to last a lifetime.

Random thoughts

Thanks Sam I really love this quote you shared :)

Brokenness is realising He's all you have.
Hope is realising He's all you need.
Joy is realising He's all you want.

I really want to get to that point where Jesus a.k.a. God is all I have, want and need.
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If it takes a thousand little deaths each day, nailing all those little bits of self onto my cross...

If that's what it takes to enter the Holy of Holies, to 'see' God face to face,

then that's what I'll do.

2 days and 2 nights in Malaysia.
I asked God for a sign.
He gave me 2 miracles.
Generous, isn't He?

Do Not Fear

The dark clouds just lifted. The silver lining I'd been waiting upon broke quite suddenly into a full blast of glorious, consuming light.
For the longest time, I'd been obsessed with doing God's Will.
Am I at the right place at the right time?
Saying the right words?
Doing the right thing?

It wasn't until God started tapping me on the shoulder did I realise all that had been stemming from the wrong motivation.
I was doing it less because I loved Him, but more out of my own fears.
Fear of consequences.
Fear of His wrath.
Fear of a wasted life, wrongly lived.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
-1 John 4:18

Unknowingly, I'd reduced my space to a tightrope instead of the luxurious playground we all have in the grace of God.
The truth is when I am more concerned about consequences, fear is my motivation. When it becomes all about loving Him and pleasing Him because I love Him, now that’s a different story!

Short Story

"Behind Doors"
written by Avelyn

Knock knock.
I peered through the viewfinder and saw Jesus standing outside.
"Child, will you let me in?"
I scanned the roomful of clothes, shoes, bags, magazines and every other imaginable material comfort I'd purchased carelessly in the past few years.
A small voice was still trying to talk me out of letting my Savior in, putting up the last bit of resistance it could muster.
It took a few seconds of hesitation before I flung the room door wide open. Jesus came in,
"It's Yours now, Lord."

Knock knock.
Without looking, I knew who I was going to find standing outside the door.
"Child, will you let me in?"
This time, it was a room filled with hourglasses, each one representing the amount of time I'd wasted on an array of meaningless activities. I spotted online chatting, mindless surfing, trashy television shows and aimless bumming amongst them.
It seemed easier to open this door now that I'd let Jesus into the previous room.
"It's Yours too, Lord."

Knock knock.
I tried to shut out the sound of knocking by losing myself in the music playing from the speakers, the only object in the room.
It didn't work.
"Aww c'mon! This is such a trivial thing! Surely a bit of good non-Christian music wouldn't hurt?"
The excuse sounded even worse once I'd put it into words.
"Child, it matters to me. Besides, are you certain it's not hurting you?"
I got up from where I was sitting and crossed the room to open the door.
"This is Yours too, Jesus."

Knock knock.
Out went my personal reasons to dance, in came Jesus.
Knock knock.
Out went the hurt from broken relationships, in came Jesus.
Knock knock.
Out went my addiction to food, in came Jesus.
Knock knock.
Out went depression, in came Jesus.
Knock knock.
Out went the security of paper qualifications, in came Jesus.
Knock knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock.
One by one, the rooms in my life got cleared out as I opened up more and more doors to let Jesus in.

Some opened quite easily; others were heavier and required more strength. A few had been tightly shut for so long the door was jammed on its hinges and refused to budge despite my greatest efforts.
"Lord, I can't open this one!"
"Child, you lack the strength."
"Please help me open it!"
"Are you sure you want me to?"
"Yes I'm sure! Please open it!"
At his touch, the door swung open. Jesus stepped through the doorway, seeming not to notice the state of disarray the room was in. It took awhile, but with my Savior's help, the room was eventually straightened out.
"Child, be careful what you let in."
I nodded silently, knowing how easy it would be for the room to fall back into its previous state if I let my guard down, even for a short while.

Knock knock.
I struggled with the handle and threw all my weight against the door to make it open. It didn't budge a single inch.
Knock knock.
"Lord, I can't get it to open!" A note of despair crept into my voice.
"This one's going to hurt," came the familiar voice from the other side of the door.
"I..." My voice faltered.
Slumping onto the floor in exhaustion, I started crying. The pain that gripped my heart was so severe I hadn't noticed that Jesus had opened the door and entered until I felt his arm around me.
"Come..."
I allowed myself to be led out of the room by my Savior.

Suddenly, I realised I was looking down one end of a corridor. On either side were scores of opened doors leading into rooms now marked by the presence of Jesus. Turning around, I saw more closed doors leading down to the other end of the corridor.
"How many more to go, Lord?"
Jesus smiled and pressed a bunch of keys into my hand. "Let's unlock those doors together."
I nodded; deep within me, bubbles of hope and joy were rising, meeting with the warm embrace and solid love of my Savior. Perhaps this is what they meant by "a new creation in Christ".

Peering down to the end of the corridor, I saw a door that looked vastly different from the rest. A warm, inviting glow emitted from behind it, and the moment I saw it, I knew in my heart it would lead to the place where I belong.
I searched through all the keys in my hand, but found that none of them were made to unlock the last door. Curiosity piqued, I turned around and found Jesus gazing into my questioning eyes.
"Lord, how can I unlock the last door?"
"You can't," came his reply. "Because I AM the key, and I will bring you through it."
With that, Jesus took my hand and together, we started down the corridor to the next door.

3 dollars' Worth of God

We don't go up to the box office and ask for a ticket to the first 24 minutes of the show.
Neither do we buy a car without wheels and a sound system.
It is equally ridiculous, if not more, to ask, "Would you marry me for the next 7 and a half years?"

So why do we not find it ridiculous to ask God - "Can I just have 3 dollars worth of You please?"

Not enough to change my life radically, so that I won't have to give up the luxuries I'm used to, the habits I'm comfortable with, or work too hard in school.
Not enough to compel me to give up my favourite television shows, support missions, love the people I find unlovable, or clean out my ipod of downloaded music.
Not enough to convince me to help my mother with the chores, think less about myself and the things I want, or to die for my faith.

Oh no.Please, just give me 3 dollars worth of You, God.

Just enough for me to sleep well at night, feel like a happy person and destress from work.
Just enough so that I don't have to do anything more than go to church every Sunday, read my bible and pray once in a while.
Just enough for me to have a vague idea of the purpose of my existence, get by difficult times in life and scrape pass the gates of heaven.

I am so amazed when people tell me,
"Religion's all very good when you don't get too extreme about it. It helps when you face a crisis and meets your spiritual needs. Oh but don't go too far now!"

So you put God into a lamp and rub it every time you need to have three wishes granted.
Who wants a god like that?

Not me.

My God is Big, Powerful, Almighty and Sovereign.
That means He rules everything, including my life.
Now that's a God worth living for.