Episode III

Just finished watching Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith.

I really should record the whole exchange between Obi-wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker.
Anakin turned to the dark side in hopes of saving Padme, but in the end, his decision caused him to bring about the very thing he so dreaded - her death.

It's sad, isn't it.
Very timely as I ponder upon the meaning of love.
I know, I know, this four letter word has been over-examined and over-used since the beginning of time, you'll say.
No but, seriously, I don't think it's over-used at all...it's just wrongly-used most of the time!

Most people say "I love you" without really knowing the weight of what they just said.
How can they?
We human beings have such a warped notion of "true love".

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." 1 Cor 13:6
Ahah. Here's the portion of scripture that was running through my head as Obi-wan and Anakin's conversation played on screen.
It was a slippery slope - Anakin chose the wrong path, and unfortunately, descended too far to the point of no return.
The very person he so dearly loved and attempted to save at any cost, he accused of betrayal and killed her with his own hands. And there's the catch - he was willing to save her at any cost.
Even if it meant choosing evil over righteousness.
He was blinded by a very warped version of "love", and with all the egging on by Palpitine (or Darth Sidious), he made the first wrong move by saving Palpitine from Master Windu's hands.

And there was the element of fear also.
He feared Padme's death too much to let go.
He didn't understand that some things cannot be held on to no matter how hard you try, especially when it comes to the time for someone to die.
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot
This life is passing even as we speak of it.
There's an eternal life waiting for us after death though.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." Matthew 6:19-20

And here's my favourite part of the whole passage - "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21

I know where my treasure is - do you?

Do you know what it's like to have someone's name carved onto your heart?
I do.

I live and breathe Jesus.
But I've got your name on my heart.

Finding God...

In the mess around me.

In my fatigue,
in my tears,
in my pain,
in my love,
in my broken body,
in my wretched heart.

Jesus you are my everything.

Our hearts are constantly enlarged by suffering.
Can't find the verse for it, but I know it's in the bible somewhere.

Guess what I read in Psalm 56?
Verse 8 says:
Record my lament;
list my tears on your scroll
are they not in your record?

Joanne says I'm speaking bible speak :)
I know God keeps my tears in a glass bottle.

More Snippets

Listening to songs like Bleeding Love makes you emo.

Oh God does he mean what I think he means..?!?!

I've had all these thoughts about God that I wanna blog, but which I forget by the time I get online.
I'm sick of blogging about me. I wanna blog about God.

Suen came for LASALLE's open house and watched me dance! Yay :)

We are so going to dance for Easter!

My roomie dearest is back!!!

Thank God for Tony.
It was like breakthrough weekend or something.
The night I chatted with him, I was close to burnout from 7 days in school and one more day to go before a break (8 days in a row). My whol left hip region was sore like anything.
Guess what?
It's recovered now.
Not fully, cause it still makes a werid clack when I rotate my leg, but my hip flexor is stronger now, which means I can hold my left leg in a la seconde for longer than before.
A miracle in God's small, quiet ways.
But this click-clacking...I think it's a lifetime mark of the time I wrestled with God.
Like Jacob.
Who wants to walk around with a limp?
But only we - people like Jacob and I - can know what it's like to wrestle with God and claim to have experienced it.

Thank God for Sam Leo.
It was powerful praying on the green grass patch.
We went for 50mins!
And covered 34 names...